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Emily Chang’s article in Vanity Fair:

Some of the most powerful men in Silicon Valley are regulars at exclusive, drug-fueled, sex-laced parties—gatherings they describe not as scandalous, or even secret, but as a bold, unconventional lifestyle choice. Yet, while the guys get laid, the women get screwed. 

This is interesting in light of the Rolling Stone controversy. Chang is very professional but there is no corroboration offered for the claims she makes.

It will be interesting to see if the article gets passed around, refuted, or forgotten.


Words used to describe the men (no names are given):


Some remarks (quotes from the article in italics):

Even if they attend of their own volition

The implication is that women are sometimes forced to attend .

I see a lot of men leading people on, sleeping with a dozen women at the same time. But if each of the dozen women doesn’t care, is there any crime committed?

The implication is that the women are trying to use the parties to get ahead, and it’s not working. Would it be better if it worked?

But at the most intimate gatherings, guests will cook dinner together.

It doesn’t sound like people participate against their will.

Ironically, the gathering was held just a week after sexual-harassment allegations against Binary Capital co-founder Justin Caldbeck had been reported, but that didn’t seem to discourage certain guests from indulging in heavy petting in the open.

Unsurprising since it has already been made clear that participants don’t see themselves as doing anything wrong.

You can choose not to hook up with [a specific] someone, but you can’t not hook up with anybody,because that would be voyeurism. So if you don’t participate, don’t come in.

This is a standard swinger rule.

I had a wide-ranging conversation with Twitter co-founder Evan Williams about the peculiar mixture of audacity, eccentricity, and wealth that swirls in Silicon Valley.

She didn’t talk to him about this subject – it was an old interview.

Married V.C. described his teenage life as years of playing computer games and not going on a date until he was 20 years old. Now, to his amazement, he finds himself in a circle of trusted and adventurous tech friends with the money and resources to explore their every desire.

The whole tone of the article till now has been that these are glamorous alpha males lording it over submissive females. Suddenly we realize that these are just regular geeks who are uncomfortable with women. It makes sense that they would be happy to relate to women in a group context where they are not responsable for making small talk, taking emotional risks, etc.

There is an often told story that Silicon Valley is filled with women looking to cash in by marrying wealthy tech moguls. Whether there really is a significant number of such women is debatable.

In other words it’s true.

On their way up to a potential multi-million-dollar payout… more and more women seem to become mysteriously attracted to them no matter how awkward, uncool, or un­at­trac­tive they may be.

This is eminently believable, but it’s presented as most likely not true.

Ava, who asked me to disguise her real identity and has dated several founders, says it’s the men, not the women, who seem obsessed with displays of wealth and privilege… She tells of being flown to exotic locations, put up in fancy hotels, and other ways rich men have used their money to woo her.

It’s just coincidence that she has dated several founders.

After a few extravagant dates, Ava says, she will initiate a conversation about where the tryst is going. The men then end things, several using the same explanation.

It’s just coincidence that when you ask a billionaire where things are going he gets nervous.

…An excuse used by some tech stars to justify their own predatory behavior.

Which predatory behavior?

Elisabeth Sheff, a Chattanooga-based writer and professor who has spent two dec­ades researching open relationships, her reaction was heated: “That’s exploitation. That’s old-school, fucked-up masculine arrogance and borderline prostitution,” she said.

More writer than professor these days. Interestingly, she was certified as a massage therapist at the Esalen Institute in 1988.

The women who do say yes to these parties rarely see a big business payoff.

Would it be better if it worked to sleep your way to the top?

Men actually get business done at sex parties and strip clubs. But when women put themselves in these situations, they risk losing credibility and respect.

This is a real problem and it would have been good to make it the main subject.

©Andrew Swift · top · more · contact